Shopping Excursion
by Lady of the Storm
Summary: What REALLY happens when Yuuki decides to get Zero some new clothes.


Zero stood transfixed, horrified, terrified, and petrified at the prospective before him. It was purgatory. No, worse, it was hell. It was –

"Shopping!" Yuuki gleefully announced with a genuine hallmark smile plastered on her face.

Zero's refusal was halfway out his throat. "N-"

"Don't you _dare _say no, Zero Kiryu!" Yuuki threatened by jabbing a very intimidating finger at his chest. "It is _your _birthday. We are going to _celebrate _it properly!"

He hated this. He hated it so much. He hated shopping. He hated the _demon woman _who was forcing him into submission. "I will not."

"You will," she snapped. So she says, and so it shall be.

Zero attempted another protest. "I don –"

"_You _have been trudging around in the _same _clothes you have been wearing for the past _two _years," Yuuki declared with misplaced zeal, "You are getting a new wardrobe and you will like it." The last part sounded like a veiled threat.

He attempted guilt. "I sparred with you, didn't I? You got what you wanted. Can't you just leave me alone?"

But Yuuki was unfazed. She cocked her head to the side. "You need to think of a better argument than that."

Zero glared. That was all he could do because he was too weak to verbally object to the girl. But Yuuki noticed even that. "Stop making that scary face, it's not frightening anyone."

It would never fail to mystify Zero why women of all ages enjoy spending their money so much. When it comes to girls, shopping is a completely different language. They obsess, they hunt, they devour. It was almost primeval, and Yuuki did not escape from this system.

Usually, Zero didn't mind so much their excursions to town because he always had the option of waiting outside while Yuuki participated in the time-honored womanly tradition. But when Yuuki decided to make him her next project, all hell broke loose. He couldn't even quietly wait in a corner while she collected the clothing items before sending him to a dressing room. No, he would have to follow Yuuki as she picked and chose based of coloring and cut. _Then _to the dressing room, which would take even longer because she would have to direct his outfits. _No, the shirt doesn't look terrible; it just doesn't go with those jeans. Here, try these instead…_ To round of the horrendous spree, they would pay a visit to the cash register and cough over a small fortune. The process would only end after a second, solitary trip during which Zero would return half of what they had bought (but even that was a challenge, for Yuuki learned quickly and started cutting the tags of as soon as they reached home).

"Yuuki," he spoke calmly, trying diplomacy, "I'm perfectly content with the clothes I have. There's no need –"

She blanched. "Are you _kidding_?"

Was he? The seriousness in her voice made him question his own judgment.

"Let's forget your horrendous attire for a moment and remember that there's a school dance next week. God, Zero, do you even have a tux?"

Zero shrugged. "I'll just wear the uniform."

It was the wrong thing to say. Yuuki looked outraged, but amusingly so. "You will not! You are going to be properly dressed." She shook her head. "Remember how you showed up to the ball last time? You looked like you fell asleep in you uniform and rolled out of bed to go to work."

That was because he had. But Zero would be damned if he concurred to what Yuuki thought was a hyperbole.

"Come on, Zero," she continued, "This is my birthday present to you. You can't reject it."

Zero raised his eyebrows slightly. "You're going to pay for an entire wardrobe? How?"

Yuuki rolled her eyes and whipped out a credit card. "The Chairman, of course. He's planning on cooking a 'special' dinner for you tonight and wants you out of the house. So if you're not going to do it for me, at least do it for him."

His birthday was just getting worse by the hour. First, Yuuki wanted to take him shopping. Then, his neurotic adoptive father wanted to cook what would turn out to be a gag-worthy meal, no doubt. Why couldn't his unconventional family leave him in peace, for once? But Zero had no choice but to sigh unhappily and resign himself to Yuuki as she pulled him into town.

He remembered the first store she dragged him into only because of the gothic styles many of the clothes had. Zero never liked anything goth. And no, it wasn't because it reminded him of vampires. That would be too cheesy. The rest was a blur of racks, dressing rooms, and cash registers as Yuuki put outfits together with the skill of an artist. Soon the amount of store bags he had seemed to be too big for any healthy shopper. And yet, after all the exhaustive hours, Yuuki still had all of her enthusiastic vigor.

_I don't get it, _Zero mused as he followed the trotting girl while carrying all the bags. _Where does she store all that energy? _

They ended up at a shop entitled Men's Apparel, underneath which proclaimed Suits and Tuxedos for Formal Events. Yuuki confidently walked up to the front desk. "He needs a tux," she said matter-of-factly, pointing at Zero. He plead with his eyes to the employee to please, please refuse service, or say that they were closed, or say that all of their stock had been burned and they would indefinitely be out of business. But the elderly woman only gave him a momentary smile of sympathy. "What style would you like?" she asked as she escorted the girl farther into the store. Zero silently trudged after them.

"Uhm…" Yuuki thought about it. "White, I think."

Zero stopped. _White? _Already, it was too reminiscent of the Night Class.

"Yes, white," Yuuki decided, convinced, "And I think with a blue shirt."

The seamstress followed Yuuki's choices and brought out several options from which Yuuki picked what she liked. They dressed Zero like a doll, pinning and tailoring.

"You wear too much black, Zero," she said while he frowned, his expression reflected three ways. Yuuki had already added a silver vest to the ensemble and was now in the process of choosing ties. "You'd be surprised if you realized how good you looked. Hmm… I suppose the navy one…" she held up the tie, comparing it to the rest of the coloring, and changed her mind, "Nah, lavender. It'll bring out your eyes."

She threw the cord around his neck and began to tie it. When she was satisfied with the result, she leaned close to his ear and whispered: "If you want, we can get some shio ramen for dinner. Then we don't have to eat as much of the Chairmen's food."

"You don't want to go to the café?"

Yuuki rolled her eyes. "It's _your _birthday, idiot. You choose what you want to eat."

Zero smirked, just a little. Yuuki caught it. "Finally! A smile from you."

"I was amazed at how considerate you were."

"Oh, please."

"Done."

It was the seamstress. She finished hemming the sleeve and stepped away. Yuuki clapped her hands together while Zero appraised himself. "Oh, Zero, you look so handsome!"

He wouldn't have used her exact words. _Tortured _seemed to be more accurate; the wear and tear of the day was visible on his face. The thought of food kept him going. "Can we go now?" he demanded, tired and exasperated. Yuuki paid no attention to his tone. They left ten minutes later, after Yuuki chose a pair last-minute cuff links.

"I can't wait to see you wearing this next week," Yuuki gleefully announced while they walked down the road, "The Day class girls are going to freak out completely! It's going to be priceless."

Zero groaned at the thought. Of course this was all for Yuuki's entertainment. She always had a hidden agenda stored away, even if she didn't realize it. They soon arrived at the _ramen-ya _restaurant and took their seats. The bags made a sad pile around them. The ramen was good, though.


End file.
